The unstable emotion

Have you ever cried for no reason?

It feels like you are so sad that you can't even bear your tears anymore.It feels so heaven when you release all the tears that you have kept for days or even weeks.After you cry,you try to find the reason why you are crying.You feel like a stupid person crying over the small matters.

I have cried too many times.It feels like homesick.I've never felt homesick at the maktab before.But after a few months i've been in the maktab i always cry i dont even know why i did that.Maybe because im depressed.When you think away,you feel that everyone doesnt need you.

In fact,everyone is putting high expectation on you but you can't bear it.Everything happened because of you.
I have cried too many times but nobody noticed cus im not an attention seeker.

Some people say "why do you have a crush on someone that doesnt know you?" "why do you like someone that likes someone else?". You better shut up.If it is fated that I'm going to marry Harry Styles is my destiny.Allah yang tentukan.I'm not pretty.I'm not beautiful.yes,i do know that.I know who i am. But i still ship myself and my bae.

Let me list the advantages of having a crush of someone you just met and he doesnt even know you bcs you are in lower form 

1) If your bae is smart or one of the smartest in the maktab, you could take it as a challenge.I bet you don't want to be lower than your crush right? When you see him studing, you would think like this " omg bapak ko rajin gila", "bae aku rajin tho" "bae aku pandai math tho,kalau camni aku pun nak study hard for math la"

2) The situation is : your bae doesnt even know you are exist.
so when you got bumped into him or stalking him you feel like a princess gets pizza from a hot pizza deliverer. Your bae will not notice that you are stalking him or looking at him like seriously your mood will turn on.

3) the continuation of the above's statement ^ : you can look at your crush for a long time and admire how perfect he is to you.

4) crush/bae makes you happy ok.

5) your crush will know you one day

Dear crush, I could write a letter for you but i think im not jiwang enough to write all those loving things.
I'll try my best to create a love letter for you. Ugh no,i wont send it to you badly, because i dont want to be like 'bagai perigi mencari timba' get that? i'm not that kind of girl who likes to be offered 'jom couple' 'saya suka awak,jom couple?'. Sorry,but my heart is only for halal men. Saya bukan murahan.I'm expensive.

This describes me so much.


Hang on there.
Be strong no matter how small you are.

Hey im okay here

Oh hi.

Assalammualaikum.How's everyone? I'm ok alhamdullilah just got back from maktab and feeling very happy right now :). Finally,I am home! I've got many ideas to write on blog when I'm at maktab but bila sampai rumah je all those ideas hilang its ok its ok. I'll try to post something interesting for you guys. I hope i have secret readers (?) well hope so that would be fun having secret readerssssssss.

Please do not be shocked. Yes I'm having a crush on someone rn but bukan calang calang orang hehe. Just a crush.I mean like i am his secret admirer and he doesnt know that (shh dont tell anyone).Ok,listen.He's so perfect that I can't even breath when I'm walking beside him.HE IS SO PERFECT. I always stalk him (i mean stalk him in a goood way) I could cry for him. And yes he is in upper form. I wont fall in love with my own batchmates (euw?).

I lost my mind when it comes to exam phew.Well for ujian selaras 1 I've got 3.52 for my pointer and that is my very first pointer and I was freaking excited!!! Alhamdullilah! But, yea I'm still weak in math.I'm sorry im not like other ppl you're hoping for.

Maybe this happened like a month ago.Zayn left 1d.I'm not okay.I was'nt okay.I wasnt. I was shocked. But yea im okay rn and looking forward for the next album of 1d.


I'm just gonna post something more interesting than this i promise. Please dont be shocked if I havent posted anything in 2