The unstable emotion

Have you ever cried for no reason?

It feels like you are so sad that you can't even bear your tears anymore.It feels so heaven when you release all the tears that you have kept for days or even weeks.After you cry,you try to find the reason why you are crying.You feel like a stupid person crying over the small matters.

I have cried too many times.It feels like homesick.I've never felt homesick at the maktab before.But after a few months i've been in the maktab i always cry i dont even know why i did that.Maybe because im depressed.When you think away,you feel that everyone doesnt need you.

In fact,everyone is putting high expectation on you but you can't bear it.Everything happened because of you.
I have cried too many times but nobody noticed cus im not an attention seeker.

Some people say "why do you have a crush on someone that doesnt know you?" "why do you like someone that likes someone else?". You better shut up.If it is fated that I'm going to marry Harry Styles is my destiny.Allah yang tentukan.I'm not pretty.I'm not beautiful.yes,i do know that.I know who i am. But i still ship myself and my bae.

Let me list the advantages of having a crush of someone you just met and he doesnt even know you bcs you are in lower form 

1) If your bae is smart or one of the smartest in the maktab, you could take it as a challenge.I bet you don't want to be lower than your crush right? When you see him studing, you would think like this " omg bapak ko rajin gila", "bae aku rajin tho" "bae aku pandai math tho,kalau camni aku pun nak study hard for math la"

2) The situation is : your bae doesnt even know you are exist.
so when you got bumped into him or stalking him you feel like a princess gets pizza from a hot pizza deliverer. Your bae will not notice that you are stalking him or looking at him like seriously your mood will turn on.

3) the continuation of the above's statement ^ : you can look at your crush for a long time and admire how perfect he is to you.

4) crush/bae makes you happy ok.

5) your crush will know you one day

Dear crush, I could write a letter for you but i think im not jiwang enough to write all those loving things.
I'll try my best to create a love letter for you. Ugh no,i wont send it to you badly, because i dont want to be like 'bagai perigi mencari timba' get that? i'm not that kind of girl who likes to be offered 'jom couple' 'saya suka awak,jom couple?'. Sorry,but my heart is only for halal men. Saya bukan murahan.I'm expensive.

This describes me so much.


Hang on there.
Be strong no matter how small you are.

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